Aging Gracefully

Are you settling into middle age as your daughter moves into her teen years? Some mothers have a difficult time watching the glow of their own “blossom” fade as their daughter blooms more every day. Although middle age (and beyond) hold its own magic, it can be hard to watch yourself age. It doesn’t help matters if your daughter is also at the age where she thinks you are suddenly the most annoying, unhip, uncool person on the planet.

I remember watching my daughter at her middle school graduation. She was full of hopes and dreams and looked more grown up than I had ever seen her before. It was the first time I acknowledged I was getting older, and she was turning into a young woman. I remember thinking, “I need to pass the baton to her.” By mentally letting go, and telling myself that she could run with the “baton,” allowed me to step more fully into my own place in the circle of life. Read more

What Are You Focused On

Recently, I had the opportunity to walk the beach at Ponte Vedra, Florida, to look for fossils hidden among the broken shells and debris. It has been years since I last “fossiled.” However, I remembered what size, shape and color to look for, and soon, I was focused on the fossils, not on the shells and the million other things strewn on the beach. It was easy to find the treasure I searched for.

How about you? Is it easy to see the treasure in your teen daughter? Or are you focusing on the debris, and the broken things? I hope you are focusing on the treasure, and giving your daughter credit for the good things she is doing. Whenever someone in my group found a great fossil, we celebrated with a “high five.” It felt great that other’s shared in our small victory. Are you sharing in your daughter’s victories? What has she done lately that deserved a “high five?”

We mom’s know that to raise a daughter, we need to teach them about life. But we often forget that teaching is far more than simply pointing out what our daughters are doing “wrong.” Yet many moms focus only on the negative. They forget to point out and celebrate the good. Read more

Spend Less Here, MORE Here!

Now that most of us Moms are tightening our belt as we ride the financial rollercoaster, (or is it more like riding Drop Zone?) we are spending less time at the mall shopping. What are you doing with the time you used to spend on accumulating THINGS?

I hope you are using that time on other things such as personal growth, (now is a great time to learn to face change bravely) and building your relationship with your loved ones. I’ll address personal growth for moms in my next blog. Today, let’s look at your relationship with your daughter.

First, some mom’s are saying they feel guilty over not being able to provide things as they used to for their daughters. This is understandable. There is great joy in being able to give our girls things that make them happy. The problem is, most of us are conditioned to think of and measure happiness in terms of possessions. Read more

Is Your Teen Daughter More Unbearable in This Bear Market?

Moms, do you notice when you are worried about “big things,” that your daughter’s behavior becomes more unbearable? Has she changed her behavior, or are you simply on stress overload?

My hunch is, you are on stress overload, and your daughter’s normal teen behavior gets on your nerves more.

On the other hand, maybe your daughter is acting out more than usual. Our teens feel the palpable tension in the air as we all watch our savings, our kid’s college funds, maybe even our next mortgage payment vanish as the free fall on Wall Street continues.

No matter if your daughter’s behavior is real or imaginary, here are some simple tips to deal with these stressful times. Read more

Labels Not Just On Your Clothes

Labels… not just on your clothes anymore.

Labels. One of the hottest things going to evaluate if another person is anywhere in the same universe of “cool” with you. Teens sum up one another in a single glance of icons on clothing. That’s disturbing in and of itself as we aren’t the sum of our labels. But what’s more disturbing, are the labels we attach to others.

“Bitch.” “Whore.” “Asshole.” “Jerk.” You get my point. Read more

Welcome Notes From Dr Jenn

Welcome to parenting teen girls, the place where you can find information you need to better parent your teen daughter.

You can use the search bar to find topics of interest to you, or click on the tags and go right to a blog post. Can’t find an answer to your burning question? Email Dr. Jennifer Austin Leigh at

jennifer@parentingteengirls.com and let her know you need help.

Dr. Jenn recently founded Honor The Girl LLC, an organization devoted to helping teen girls by helping their mothers be their front-line of defense, positive influence and touchstone in today’s turbulent world.  You can read more at www.honorthegirl.me

House Rules: Moms Need to Learn

Moms need to learn how to create and enforce rules about how their teen daughters and her friends act in their homes.

From my research and experience as a mother and doctor of psychology, the fewer rules the better. However, the rules that are in place need to be BIG RULES. And, the consequences to breaking them need to be enforced calmly, quickly and matter-of-factly. Your daughter needs to have some say in making the rules and coming up with consequences for breaking them.

When my four young teenagers were at home, my BIG RULES were simple. The rules applied to my own children and their friends. Read more