Texting While Driving PSA

A new PSA about teen texting while driving is making its way around the internet. It’s graphic. It shows the very real dangers of a horrible accident. The problem is that most teens will watch and think “That will never happen to me.”  What does help change teen’s behavior is when they get together and talk about a topic. Then it becomes more real.

A good idea for parents: ask your teen to watch the PSA with friends over at the house and encourage them to talk about it. Have any of them had close calls or worse? Or know someone who has?

Want to create an evening where your daughter can share and learn with her friends? Hold a Dr. Jenn PJ Party.  They are fun, inexpensive and a great way for teen girls to learn and share information about today’s real world and deepen their friendship.

Here’s a story about the PSA. http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=134425&catid=40

All best,

Dr. Jenn

Apple APP Tracks Your Daughter

I wrote about the possible problems with the use of this app, so buyer beware!

As promised, here is the link to the IPhone App to help you locate where your daughter is:

http://www.locimobile.com/iloci2.cfm

Let me know if you buy it and how it is working for you.

All best,

Dr. Jenn

Two Words Change Everthing!

Two words change everything. You have the power to create the life you want, or destroy it. The flower growing through the crack in the sidewalk doesn’t “know” it isn’t “supposed” to be growing there. It only “knows” it is a flower and it is supposed to grow. The flower knows the power of the two words: I Am. 

What you believe about yourself manifests in your life.  Finish this statement, I am….  How often do you fill in that blank with powerful, positive statements?  How often do you fill it in with negative, self-doubting ones. If are you like most people, you  often fill it in with negative thoughts. “I am fat.” “I am not smart enough.” “I am unworthy to be loved.”

The words we choose to use in our thoughts and our speaking create our reality. Learn how to harness the power of a postive “I Am” statement and you have learned one of the most amazing tools you’ll ever posses.

One way to change your  “I Am” statement to one that is more powerful is to get a piece of lined paper and write down on the left side I AM on every line. Go back and write what you think you are. Every line should have a different thought.  It might look something like this:

1. I am not smart enough
2. I am a good wife
3. I am creative
4. I am scared

You get the idea. Write your negative and positive “I am” statements. Then go back and hightlight the positive ones. Write them down on another piece of paper and post them in a place where you can see them every day. Hold them in your heart. Practice living out your positive “I Am” Statements. 

When you tap into the power of your positive “I Am” statements, amazing things happen in your life. You become more open and loving to the people around you. You attract more friends. You have a more positive influence on your daughter.

Next time you hear yourself putting yourself down, do your best to find a way to turn your negative beliefs about yourself into positive ones. The more positive “I Am” statements you have, the more luscious your life becomes.

“I Am” a parenting coach for mothers of teen girls. I help moms  “Honor the Girl” to better the world.  My “I Am” statement keeps me working hard and helping the lives of many. What are your “I Am” statements doing for you? For others?

All the best on finding your powerful, positive, “I Am” statements. You can grow and blossom in any situation if you live out your positive “I Am” statements.

Dr. Jenn

Keeping Track of Your Daughter?

If you could track your daughter’s whereabouts, would you? A new app for the IPhone allows you to do just that. I was contacted by the gentleman who created it. He claims it gives parents peace of mind, and I am sure it does. You simply ask your daughter to be receptive to allowing the gps in her phone to pinpoint her location and you can see it on Google earth. You know she is where she said she would be and you can feel better. But…

I’m not endorsing the product just yet. I want parents to first think about a few things before they rush out to download it.

First, teens brains are wired to take risks. Teens sleep cycles change to more nocturnal. Translate that into teens like to stay out late and push the boundaries a bit. This generation is no different than all the ones before it.  But we as parents have become terrified of the real or imagined dangers in the world. We get so caught up in building barriers to protect our children from the world that we forget to build relationships with our children. 

An IPhone app won’t tell you what your daughter is doing when it locates her. Only she can do that. Will she trust you enough to tell you who she really is? Are you building that type of relationship with her?

Is technology going to replace parenting? I hope not. I truly hope not.

Our girls need their parents more than ever in this world full of real and imagined dangers. But I am not sure that an IPhone app is going to keep them safe. It might deter them from lying about where they are going, but they are teens! They are going to find ways to take risks, to explore the world, to try on things we as parents wish they wouldn’t. One study showed that teens who didn’t take risks were not as successful when they grew up.

If you do use the IPhone app, I hope you won’t let it take the place of good parenting. I hope you will work hard to establish a great relationship with your daughter. There is no technology in the world that can do that. That’s still a people job, thank heavens.

If your daughter goes ballistic when you tell her you want to locate her position on Google earth from time to time, don’t be surprised. How would you feel if your spouse suddenly wanted to keep track of you when you were away from the house? My hunch is you’d feel that he or she didn’t trust you. I will bet your daughter will feel the same way. Be prepared to deal with that issue. It can be a huge challenge in a relationship.

I just want you to be aware that an IPhone app isn’t going to solve all your parenting issues or keep your daughter 100% safe. I assume she is in someones car to get to where she is going. Teens die every year in car accidents. And I don’t think they have created an app that protects them from that yet.

I’ll share the link to the app in my next post. If you have any questions on how to introduce it to your daughter or how to deal with any negative fallout, I’m here to help.  I want for you and your daughter to have an amazing, life long relationship built on mutual respect, trust and a deep abiding love.  That comes from learning the Four L’s… look, listen, learn and love. More on that too.

All the best,

Dr. Jenn

Thin Wallets, Big Guilt

Teen girls tell me they feel guilty over lack of work. 23.8% of white teens and a whopping  35.7%  of our black teens are unemployed. Click here for the full report.

 Parent’s are so often caught up in their own financial worries that they don’t understand how the economy is effecting their daughters. Girls may not be worrying how to pay the mortgage, but they do worry about how they can help out and relieve their parents from money pressures, or how they can afford to buy new clothes for school, or buy gas, etc.  Girls  have shared that going to college has put a strain on their families finances and they can’t quite work up the excitement they wish they could feel about leaving home because they feel so burdened with guilt.

Parents can’t magically make their money woes disappear, but they can talk and listen to their daughters about money. Having an open, honest discussion could help your daughter feel less guilty and more able to enjoy the school year ahead.  Don’t assume that your daughter “feels fine.” Even daughters from wealthy families have told me they feel guilty over putting a strain on mom and dad.

It’s easy to start the conversation. Just ask, “I am curious how you are feeling about the recession.” Or, “I am curious how not having a job this summer makes you feel.” Remember to listen and not interrupt, do not give unasked for advice,  don’t tell your daughter her feelings aren’t justified, or steal the conversation and make it about your thoughts and feelings. Allow her truth to be her truth. When she is done sharing, ask her what she needs from you in order to feel better. Sometimes, all our daughters need to know is that we love them and that we are there for them.

Helping your daughter feel less guilty over money woes will reduce her overall stress load. That means her body will function better and she will be more able to make better decisions about her life. Guilt, fear, worry and other negative emotions reduce our brain’s ability to make rational, logic, life and love affirming decisions.

The economy might take more time to turn around, but in the meantime, you can turn towards your daughter and embrace her emotionally. Please don’t assume that just because she is a teen, that  she isn’t struggling with her own money issues.

All the best,

Dr. Jenn

Moms Talking to Moms

Dr. Jenn created a social network so mothers of teen girls can share their thoughts, ideas and questions. It’s  hosted on ning and open to the public. You can go here to join and invite other moms to join and help support each other.

http://honorthegirl.ning.com/

Hope to see you there!

Moms,visit www.honorthegirl.me for support  and nurturing from Dr. Jenn each month, deliverd in your inbox.

Does He Hurt Her?

Teen dating violence is on the rise. One out of five teens in a serious relationship report they have been physically abused, so reports a study funded by Liz Claiborne.  Some teen girls have been murdered by their boyfriends.

With our daughters headed back to school where romances often start, we need to be educated about teen dating violence.  For starters, post this number on your fridge.

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline | 1-866-331-9474 | 1-866-331-8453 TTY  (reprinted from www.loveisrespect.org)

Parents need to know the warning signs that their daughter’s relationship may have become violent:

Physical signs of injuryTruancy, dropping out of school

Failing grades

Indecision

Changes in mood or personality

Use of drugs/alcohol

Pregnancy

Emotional outburst

Isolation

(reprinted from http://www.acadv.org/dating.html)

Parents often to forget to discuss their daughter’s emotional and psycial safety in a relationship. And our daughters don’t always share when they are being abused. That creates a dangerous situation. 

 I know you have a lot to do to get everyone ready for back to school. But please take a few minutes to educate yourself on teen dating violence and keep the topic open for discussion in your household. It might just save your daughter’s life. 

Visit both of the website listed above for more information about teen dating violence.

All best and a happy, healthy, safe school year!

Dr. Jenn

 

 

Let Go to Hold On

I am packing to move from San Francisco to New York. I already downsized when my four children scampered off to college. Now I’m letting go. It’s liberating. I think of all the things I held onto over the years as a mother. All the worries, all the self-doubt, all the fears that I would somehow “let down” my children. Most mothers I talk to tell me they feel similar feelings. They feel the need to be “perfect” and to make life “perfect” for their daughters. 

The simple truth is all you have to do to be a great mother is to answer your daughter’s big brain question with a Yes! That question is simply, “Are you there for me?” When mothers let go of their anxiety, worries, fears and all the negative thoughts and emotions that tag along, they can better answer their daughters with a resounding “Yes!” When you let go of all the negative self chatter in your brain, and the preconceived ideas about who your daughter “should” be, and allow her to find her own truth with you by her side, you will discover the very marrow of life. For it is in creating the rich, loving relationships with our children that life finds it truest song, and sings to us in harmony. When we let go, we hold on to the best and brightest life has in store for us. Motherhood, in my humble opinion, is the divine made visible.

How do you let go to hold on? It’s not always easy. That’s why I have started the Honor the Girl Movement. You can check it out at www.honorthegirl.me. I am doing my best to help mothers in today’s ever changing world. If you can let go of your ideas about who your daughter should be, and begin to discover who she really is, you’ll tap into a relationship that will sustain you for the rest of your life. That’s how you hold on.  You let go. Of lots of things. That’s where it all starts.

The act of creation is first the act of destruction. What do you need to “destruct” in order to create an amazing relationship with your daughter? What’s the first thing you need to let go of?

I’m here if you need  me,

All best

Dr. Jenn

6 Steps to Honor the Girl

Mom, do you ever feel frustrated, overwhelmed or under-skilled as a parent? Do you want to throw your hands up and give up? Do you want more peace and harmony in your home? Do you want to feel more confident and powerful as a woman? Do you ever miss the precious little girl inside of you that holds your promises, passion and purpose?

If you answered “yes” to just one of those questions, please go to my new site, www.honorthegirl.me and learn how you can feel better about your parenting, better about your relationship with your daughter and better about yourself. Discover the Six Steps to reclaiming the power, purpose, passion you have always had inside of you. Claim your parenting confidence even in today’s hectic world.

Six simple steps. A million ways they will positively change your life ….and your daughter’s life.

“Honor the girl to better the world.”

All best,

Dr. Jenn

Confidence Crisis in Moms

I listen to a lot of moms. They say they don’t feel confident as a mother anymore. It was easier to be a parent when their daughters were younger. Teenagers place an enormous new pressure on parenting skills. Most mothers don’t seem prepared for the new world their teen daughter lives in. And how could they? The world changed so fast in just the past few years! All of us are juggling the new “rules” of today’s world.

It worries me that moms feel so overwhelmed and under-skilled. That isn’t good for them or for their daughters. So I have put together SIX STEPS that help mothers reclaim their confidence, improve their parenting skills, and feel better about themselves as women in today’s world. I’ve put the six steps into an easy to follow S.E.C.R.E.T.  Simplify, Excitement, Credibility, Rituals, Emotions and Tell!  I’ll be giving moms a simple tool for each step every month. Moms don’t have to do all six steps to improve their life, even working on one will make a big difference.

If you are interested in learning more about the  ”S.E.C.R.E.T.” to reclaiming your power as a mother and feeling better about yourself, email me at jennifer@parentingteengirls.com  I’ll send you a personal email about how you can get all the info you need to increase your confidence!

All best

Dr. Jenn

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