Hot House Parenting!MUST READ

In 2004 studies done by Marian Bakermans-Kranenburg changed the landscape of psychology. She wanted to change the behavior of  young children who acted out in ways that earmarked less than a successful future. And, she did. By changing the way their mother interacted with them.

The study turned certain ideas about genetic function and behavior on its head. Here’s what you need to know in layman’s terms. Your parenting can and does impact your daughter’s genetic make up. If she has a variant in her genes that put her at risk for depression, anxiety, ADHD etc, her environment can turn those genes ON. Here’s the good news. The studies done in 2004 show that kids with variant genes, IF TREATED WITH LOVE AND CARE, can not only avoid the negative behavior associated with their genetic make-up but ACT BETTER THAN children with “normal” genetic coding.

If that is hard to grasp, just ponder this please.

Your mothering is like the clay pot in which your daughter, a wonderful flower grows in. Your care, tending and love are the hothouse that is the safety from all the pollutants in the world that can harm her. You are her constant gardener.

If you parent with HOT HOUSE skills, meaning you learn to be curious, open, accepting, and loving, (what I call COAL)  your daughter will bloom and blossom in amazing ways. (Even if her genetics are not wired for “normal!)

Orchids need special care to grow. They need just the right soil, temps, water. They are not like dandelions that sprout up victorious through cracks in sidewalks. Think of your daughter as an orchid. Tend to her like you would a delicate flower whose blossom is intensely beautiful! Don’t expect her to be as tenacious as a dandelion. Tend to her, take good care of her like you would a wonderful hot house plant.

If you can be the hot house for your daughter, she will blossom.

Along the way, you have to also be the hot house for yourself, and learn to take good care of you, so you can take good care of her.

I wish you well as you tend to the garden of love that is your relationship with your daughter.

All best

Dr. Jenn