More Help For Eating Disorders

Dr. Jenn sent out a request to other experts who work with teen girls.  The Topic? Eating disorders. Please contact any of the experts in the posts if you have further questions.  Or, leave a comment here on the site.

If you are the parent(s) of a teenage girl you suspect or know suffers from an eating disorder, my heart goes out to you.  As a licensed psychotherapist/eating disorders specialist, mom of a teen aged daughter and recovered anorexic, I want you to know that help is available and recovery is possible for your daughter and your family.

Eating disordered behaviors appear to have a cycle.  First, there is an experience of a “feeling”, could be any feeling, negative or positive, doesn’t matter.  Containing our feelings, our internal states are troublesome especially during times of transition.  Like the one your daughter is going through now, from childhood to adulthood.  Second, there is a reaction to the “feeling”; such as overeating (Binge Eating Disorder), or restrictive eating (Anorexia Nervosa), or binge eating and purging behavior (Bulimia Nervosa).  The third part of the cycle after the eating disordered behavior is a release of anxiety, internal pressure, a calmness or a feeling of being more in control (for the anorexic or bulimic).  This coping mechanism works!  It works, but only for a short while and not without tremendous consequences, as you already know.  The fourth part of this cycle is experiencing tremendous remorse, guilt and shame over doing these behaviors; having overeaten, hiding, stealing, sneaking or hoarding food, purging food.  What happens when there is the internal pressure of guilt, shame and remorse?  Well, those are feelings, and so the cycle continues.

The best place to begin dismantling this cycle is by dealing with the guilt, both as a parent or patient.  Stop feeling guilty!  Stop blaming yourself.  Eating disorders are an illness, not a choice.  If your daughter had any other serious medical condition would you blame yourself?  Not likely.  Guilt, however, is a choice.  We can choose to wallow in guilt as parents or so “no” to the guilt.  There are many more helpful ways to cope.  By modeling “no guilt” you will be helping your daughter.  You will also be able to see more clearly what needs to be done next.

Getting professional help is the next step to disabling the cycle.  There are various types of help.  There are in-patient treatment programs, which are usually in hospital settings, there are residential treatment programs which provide treatment in a large home like setting, or there is something called “intensive outpatient programs”.   These programs are highly structured and based on a particular treatment philosophy.  Find out what the provider’s treatment consists of and their philosophy about treatment for eating disorders.  Make sure it feels like there is a good fit between yourself, your daughter and the healthcare providers.

There are many websites available for further information.  Some good ones are:

www.wyweight.com to find out more about my practice

www.NationalEatingDisordes.org  – they have a free Parent, family and friends network

www.EatingDisordersReferrals.com  – a national providers listing

www.eatingdisorderinfo.org – the Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness

www.bulimia.com – This is a website for Gurze Book Catalog, a comprehensive description of books on eating disorders.

Lastly, I want to say, don’t give up hope.  I got well, your daughter and your family can too.

By Robbin I. Gregson LMFT