The technology created to connect us on one level may be disconnecting us on another.

With headline news about teen violence, pregnancy rate, crime and suicide on the rise, one has to stop and wonder what’s going on with our teens. And it’s not just our teens. Educators say that they are seeing an enormous increase in children in kindergarten with less executive functioning than in previous years. That means the children have shorter attention spans, and less self-control among other things.

When Ford built the first car it was an amazing new way for people to travel faster and farther. But it wasn’t until the car had been around for years that people began to put rules about safety into place. I can’t help but wonder if we will one day have “text ed” for teens, much like drivers ed. At some point people realized people needed to be a certain age and trained to drive a car. It would serve our teens well to learn how to use technology respectfully. It would also do them well to have more face to face time.

Stats recently published claim one billion seconds a day are logged in on Facebook alone.

Our teens are digital natives. They have never known life without the technology that is new to most parents. We are still finding our way and understanding it’s impact on our world.

The teen brain already misreads facial expressions about 50% of the time because their brains haven’t fully matured. Teens make decisions with their limbic region of the brain. That’s the fight or flight area responsible for survival. Their prefrontal cortex, the CEO of the brain so to speak, doesn’t mature until the late twenties. Add that to the research suggesting that our technology use is eroding hardwired abilities to recognize expressions and it adds up to something we all need to pay attention to.

Parents can help their teens by engaging them in other activities besides texting, Youtube and other tech uses. Don’t let the computer or cell phone be your teens “babysitter.” Find ways to engage, play, laugh and be a healthy, happy family. Those things actually help the brain mature in an optimal way.

All best,

Dr. Jenn

Teens use the  limbic region of the brain to make decisions. That’s due to the fact that the “CEO” of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for logical reasoning, future planning, organizing and higher thinking is not fully matured until the late 20’s. The limbic system on the other hand,  is responsible  for what scientists call the four Fs. It’s responsible for fighting, fleeing, feeding and sexual reproduction. You can fill in that F. (Honestly, that’s how the science journals write it up!) The limbic region is all about survival and survival of the species.  The limbic system is not a great reader of facial expressions in others.

Another reason teens don’t do as well as adults may be tied to their use of technology. Some researchers feel that looking at a computer screen for long periods of time is actually eroding the ability to read facial expressions. That is not good news. Reading facial expressions in others is how we feel empathy and connect on meaningful levels with others. The way our brains scan for information on a computer screen is called  Continuous Partial Attention, CPA for short. CPA may be responsible for our weakening ability to read other’s faces. The technology designed to connect us, may be disconnecting us as human beings.

What does all this mean for our daughters? More drama in their lives. Imagine if your daughter looks at someone and she thinks they are angry when really they are sad or frustrated. She will most likely have an inappropriate reaction to the information before her. That causes a lot of drama in our daughters’ social lives. (The limbic system as steering wheel causes other problems…. I’ll post them in the future.)  According to some researchers, CPA is also responsible for our teens dwindling attention span. That too causes problems in many areas.

As a parent, you can help your daughter by explaining the way her teen brain works. Simply understanding that you don’t have all the tools needed to navigate the world properly helps you feel less stressed when you take a wrong turn so to speak. Parents can also help by listening compassionately when their daughter has drama in her social life. It’s best to listen as a neutral observer instead of giving unasked for advice, telling your daughter she shouldn’t feel the way she does, or in any other way make her wrong, or put her down. Ask her what she needs from you and do your best to provide the emotional support she needs.

Parents can also limit technology use. (I know, you are all rolling your eyes!) Put cell phones and computers away for the night. Invite more friends over to have face to face interactions and take the cell phones and computers away. Find ways for your daughter to play, laugh, have fun, and connect with her friends. The teen trend of multi-tasking, that is texting others when they are with friends, does not help them connect with others on a meaningful level.

As technology makes a tighter clutch on all of our lives, parents need to find ways to bring the humanness back into their daughter’s life. If you don’t know how to help engage your daughter in people oriented fun, email me for some free tips. 
Play, by the way, helps your daughter’s brain grow up in a healthy way! 

All the best,

Dr. Jenn