An outrageous Idea. I Hope You’ll Join Me.

These days it’s hard not to wake up and feel afraid. The news reports just continue to doom and gloom us to death. As I watch the TV shows, interviews and news about the current crisis, I am aware that the people “in charge” are mostly men.  Where are the women experts and why aren’t their voices being heard? Above and beyond that, what can women DO in this crisis to help our world create a new way of life out of the ashes we seem to be burning down to?

I have an outrageous idea. I hope you’ll join me.  History has shown us repeatedly that women united can move mountains. Well, we have a big task ahead of us. But we can do it if we stick together. Our task is to change our culture. Change it so that basic fundamental ideals are put into place, such as respect for ourselves and others. We can change our culture to encourage real face to face relationships, not just virtual ones. We can stop the sexual exploitation of our young girls.  We can bring focus on the well-being of ourselves and others. (And I’m not talking about money here!) And you know what? If we do that, our nation might just heal its economic crisis. Here’s proof.

The King of Bhutan decided that the welfare of his people was more important than his country’s gross national product. The byproduct of creating well-being was that his country became prosperous. They are not dripping in money, but people have what they need.  We can heal our economy if we turn towards each other and create healthy relationships.

Did you know that in just over a decade, it is predicted that depression will be the second leading cause of death? We have the chance, right now, as our world seems to be crumbling around us, to start over: to build something new, something powerful, something amazing.  It’s called the power of “Jen.”  It’s an ancient powerful teaching of Confucius.  Jen is simply bringing forth our own goodness  to completion and helping others bring forth their own goodness for the sake of our happiness. That in turn will create safer, more prosperous communities.

You can learn more about harnessing the power of Jen by forming a 4L club. It’s simple and it only take two hours a month. You ask 4 or 5 friends to join with you and you and your daughters ( or just you and your friends) get involved in changing your own happiness quotient and learning how to help others do the same. I have all the material you need. Write to me if you want to be a part of this grass roots movement to heal our country, regain a sense of self-pride, shed the sense of fear and dread over the headlines, and bring REAL CHANGE to your life, community and nation. It’s an outrageous idea. I hope you’ll join me!

Cheating to Deal With Economic Hard Times

I just spoke to a dear friend who recently discovered her husband has a secret life on the internet. He sent sexy emails to women on websites that exist for casual hookups. That life led him to wanting more adventure and he has been visiting prostitutes for a thrill.  My friend is understandably deeply hurt. Her trust in her husband is so broken she doesn’t know how to rebuild it. She doesn’t know what to tell her teenage daughters about the obvious tension in the household.  She says she has little emotional energy to give to her daughters as she is so wounded by the betrayal.  She knows they need her, but she is, in her own words, “empty.”

Recent reports published in psychology magazines indicate that cheating will most likely take an upward swing as the economy sinks lower. Both men and women feel the pressures of hard times. Men feel a hit to their ego if they are laid off or their paychecks cut. Women might feel the same, or they might feel they want a “better” mate who hasn’t lost his job. These are hard times for all of us. Our emotions are a bit more raw, and based in fear, anxiety and depression.

Reaching out to someone outside of your primary relationship won’t help put money back into our 401K. It won’t get your job back. It will, on the other hand, work to destroy your relationship and possibly erode your already weak sense of self. I am encouraging all of my clients to do better at listening to each other, and caring for one another in these challenging times. Now is an opportunity to turn towards your partner and get to know them better. What are they worried about? What are they feeling about themselves? Now is a good time to ask questions and be supportive. Running away from each other isn’t the answer.

When spouses (or  b/f or g/f  etc.) cheat, the hurt trickles down to the children in the relationship. No matter that the children may never find out about it, somehow, the energy from the deceit flows right down to them. If you are considering stepping out of your primary relationship, even for a “harmless” flirty chat on a website to a total stranger I ask you to reconsider. Whatever need is driving you to seek solace in a stranger, or to get attention from someone other than your spouse, how might you get that need met with your spouse?

Now is the time for honest sharing. Now is the time for true listening to each other. Our teens need mom and dad to turn towards each other, not turn away. Cheating isn’t the answer. It only cheats everyone in your family out of a respectful, loving relationship. Turn off the internet. Turn towards each other and begin talking and listening. Do it right now! Hit the close tabs button and go find someone in your family to talk and listen to. Let me know how it goes when you are back on the computer!

All the best, Jenn

Is Your Teen Daughter More Unbearable in This Bear Market?

Moms, do you notice when you are worried about “big things,” that your daughter’s behavior becomes more unbearable? Has she changed her behavior, or are you simply on stress overload?

My hunch is, you are on stress overload, and your daughter’s normal teen behavior gets on your nerves more.

On the other hand, maybe your daughter is acting out more than usual. Our teens feel the palpable tension in the air as we all watch our savings, our kid’s college funds, maybe even our next mortgage payment vanish as the free fall on Wall Street continues.

No matter if your daughter’s behavior is real or imaginary, here are some simple tips to deal with these stressful times. Read more