Dads, Daughters and Sexuality

Dear Dr. Jenn, My husband is afraid to hug our daughter now that she is turning into a young woman. He doesn’t want her to “get the wrong idea.” How should dad’s handle their daughter’s budding sexuality and the boundaries that go with that?”

Thank you for the question. I asked one our experts committed to the community of parents raising teen daughters. Here is his response to your question. Hope it is helpful. All best. Dr. Jenn

As a father I look at my daughter with affection as I have from the earliest of years. My caution in hugging or kissing her goodnight remains unabated as long as she feels comfortable. My son, at age 8, has already told me, “Don’t kiss me anymore” a sentiment he hasn’t shared with his mother. He welcomes any opportunity to kiss her. Oh well. The debate over fathers and daughters draws considerably more media attention given that the majority of molestation cases involve men and younger girls. My encouragement to fathers is move forward with confidence in their father-daughter relationships remaining acutely aware of how your daughter responds to acts of affection. Respecting your daughter’s growing sense of individuality and social status among her peers will help to build the relationship you hope when your daughter reaches adulthood. Look beyond the moment to what you hope to have in the future.

Joe Bruzzese, M.A.

Author of the Parent’s Guide to the Middle School Years, now available for purchase through Amazon.com

Founder of “The Parents’ University” – the online source for confidently pursuing the middle school years
 

Thinking Forward Video Show – Your 5-minute, daily dose of ideas for thriving during the middle school years

website: http://www.ThinkingForwardTV.com

twitter: http://www.Twitter.com/JoeBruzzese

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phone: 805-889-2142

Fathers Rock!

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. BTW it’s the 100th anniversary of Father’s Day, which was created by a woman, Sonora Smart Dodd, in 1909.

Father’s play a vital role in their teen daughter’s lives. Give your daughter too little attention and she grows up seeking it from men in unhealthy ways. Give her the wrong kind of attention, and she grows up the same , seeking the attention and affirmation from men in unhealthy ways.  Good fathering is a balance act. It’s not always easy, I know.

Experts on fathering have joined the Dr. Jenn team, and their advice posts this week, so please stay tuned.  One expert has agreed to tackle the tough subject of sexuality and fathering. Some dads have shared that as soon as their daughters began looking like young women, they recoiled, afraid that their affection would be misconstrued.

No one said parenting was easy!

More for dads soon.

If you have a burning question about fathering, please email me at jennifer@parentingteengirls.com. I’ll pass it on to my team of father experts and we’ll get back to you!

Best,

Dr. Jenn