Listen More, Talk Less Today.

There are four slices of the communication pie. Reading, writing, speaking and listening. Of the four we use listening the most, but we aren’t very good at it. We aren’t taught how to do it. In schools they teach the other three skills. Listening gets overlooked. Oh sure, maybe a teacher read a story to you and then asked how many cows you heard her talk about. Something silly like that. That’s more memorizing than listening.

Listening is an exquisite act of love and respect. It helps both speaker and listener transform their lives when it is done correctly.  Like any skill, it takes practice.

Listening skills that help people feel loved, heard, understood and respected start with the simple act of talking less and listening more. When you listen, don’t interrupt, make the other person wrong, get angry, or give unasked for advice. Don’t exchange a similar story and hijack the conversation. Keep your focus on the speaker. Open your heart and your ears and listen for the need that is being communicated. Almost every time we speak, we communicate a need of some kind. But often it is hidden in our words.

When you learn to listen to your teen daughter she will learn to trust you more and begin to tell you who she really is. Isn’t that what we want from our close relationships? We want others to know us, and for us to know them. Listening is the fastest way to achieve that.

Today, talk less, listen more. Ask questions. Be curious about who your daughter really is. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth and keep it there so you aren’t tempted to start talking too much.

No nagging. No unasked for advice. No interrupting. Just listen. You’ll be amazed at how much your daughter appreciates it. And guess what? As you model listening skills for her, she will be more apt to listen to you in the future.

Let me know how it goes.

For more help with learning to listen, email me. I have 52 listening skills I can teach you.

All best,
Dr. Jenn